


Mac and Dennis Honeymoon in the Poconos

by wallflowergardens



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, M/M, Road Trips, and wine tasting, couples pottery, fake engagements, i dont know what tags to put, if you wanna read about swan boats, then this is the fic for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23039446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallflowergardens/pseuds/wallflowergardens
Summary: Mac wins an all inclusive couples retreat in the Poconos. He asks Dennis to come with, pretending to be his boyfriend, in order to enjoy the retreat. On the retreat Dennis realizes they have drifted apart since his return from North Dakota. Is this a way for them to rebuild their friendship (and possibly something deeper) or will it all end in catastrophe.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 12
Kudos: 141





	Mac and Dennis Honeymoon in the Poconos

**Author's Note:**

> Okay!! This is my fanfic for the IASIP big bang! Thanks to everyone that helped me out with this and a huge thank you to mack impmakesart on tumblr for making the beautiful art working and alex macdenlesbian for beta reading it!! There will be more notes at the end as well as a link to the artwork so please check that out and enjoy!

“Dennis, it’s all inclusive, we can’t just not go,” Mac whined following Dennis through the door. Charlie and Frank were sitting at the bar while Dee was sitting on the counter behind it. They all looked up when Mac and Dennis walked in. 

“What are you going on about?” Dee asked. Dennis joined her behind the bar while Mac sat down next to Charlie. 

“I won an all inclusive couples retreat to go to a resort in the Poconos and Dennis doesn’t want to go with me,” Mac said. 

“Yeah, because we’re not a couple,” Dennis said. He opened a beer bottle and took a drink. 

“That’s never stopped you guys before. Plus an all inclusive trip to the Pocono’s sounds sweet as shit,” Dee said and Mac nodded at her in approval. They had pretended to be a couple before, that was nothing new, but now, Mac was out of the closet. Dennis doesn’t know how that changed things exactly but it felt weird to him. It felt too real to him now that Mac was actually out. 

“Come on, it’s a week. It won't be long and we can get blasted and try to prove to everyone we are the best couple,” Mac said. He gave Dennis a puppy dog look. He didn’t want to give Mac the satisfaction of agreeing with him, but it did sound kind of fun trying to show everyone up to be the best couple at the resort. 

“Fine, but only because it’s all inclusive and we can have as much free alcohol as possible,” Dennis said. 

“You work in a bar. You already get that,” Frank pointed out. Dennis rolled his eyes and walked away. 

Later, the day before he and Mac were supposed to leave for the Poconos, Dennis was sitting at the bar listening to Dee and Mac tell Frank a story. They were talking animatedly about something that happened to them the other day when they were working. The sight weirded Dennis out a bit. Before he left for North Dakota, Mac and Dee were the same as they always have been: fighting, hating each other, avoiding being alone together. But ever since he came back he noticed how much closer they were. He was lost in his thoughts but looked up when Charlie came up to him. He rested his elbows on the bar. 

“You think it’s a good idea for you to go play all lovey dovey with Mac at this couples thing?” Charlie asked. Dennis gave him a look of confusion and then took a sip of his beer. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked. 

“Mac’s, like, in love with you, man. Don’t you think this could hurt him?” He said, glancing over at Dee and Mac acting out their ridiculous escapade. 

“Mac knows it’s just pretend. He’s the one that came up with the idea,” Dennis shrugged. 

“That’s my point. Maybe he’ll get too into the idea of you guys being a couple and when you come back and have to be normal again, he’ll be all bummed out,” Charlie said. Dennis had no idea where this was coming from. Since when did Charlie care about his and Mac’s relationship this much?  
“I think you’re thinking about this too deeply, dude,” Dennis said. 

“I’m just saying, I know what he was like when you went to North Dakota. He, like, pretended like he didn’t care but then he also got that creepy sex doll of you that he told us he wasn’t banging but we all kn-” Charlie was rambling so Dennis cut him off. 

“Okay, I get it. What’s your point?” He didn’t want to think about the sex doll that was still currently sitting in a closet in their apartment. Mac refused to get rid of it because he said it cost too much money to just throw in the trash. 

“My point is,” Charlie paused to finish his beer, “no matter how much all of us say we hate Mac, we don’t want him to be hurt by you again, so just be careful.” Charlie’s tone was indifferent but there was an edge to his voice that Dennis wasn’t expecting and had never heard from him before. Dennis stared at his back in surprise as he walked over to join the rest of the gang. 

They decide to leave at 9 am despite the check in time being 4 pm. Even though the resort was only two hours away, Mac wanted to be the first one in line. 

“There's not going to be a line, dumbass. It’s a hotel, not a rock concert,” Dennis said and rolled his eyes. He still agreed to leave at the ungodly hour because he was whipped. He couldn’t help but smile into his coffee mug as he watched Mac dart around the apartment packing things they most definitely won't need. He went through and took out some of the extra clothes Mac had packed in his bag. 

“Dennis, dude, don't take that out!” Mac rushed over to stop Dennis from removing a sweater Mac had packed. 

“Mac, I haven’t worn this literally in years,” Dennis complained. Mac shoved it back in the bag bashfully while Dennis watched with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Yeah, but you always looked good in it,” Mac said. Dennis dropped his arms and swallowed hard. 

“Fine,” Dennis agreed, his cheeks were slightly redder than before. 

They actually managed to leave around 11:30 after getting into multiple arguments about what they should and shouldn’t bring (“Mac we absolutely don't need to bring our video camera to the couples retreat!”) and whether or not they should use aliases (“What if we brought back Honey and Vinegar for this little endeavour?”). 

Since they were leaving late, Mac was grumpy as they loaded the excessive amount of bags into the Range Rover. He slammed the trunk and stomped to the front seat. 

“Are you really pissed we’re leaving a couple of hours later than you wanted to?” Dennis asked once he sat down in the driver's seat. Mac’s arms were crossed over his chest and he dramatically positioned his body so it was facing the window, away from Dennis. He shrugged and Dennis huffed. He didn’t want Mac to be angry because Mac being pissy would be a really annoying start to this trip (that he was already expecting to be incredibly annoying).

Dennis drummed his hands on the steering wheel for a second before muttering “god dammit” under his breath. 

“Do you want to drive?” He asked. Mac immediately perked up and smiled over at Dennis. His eyebrows were raised in excitement and his eyes were wide. Dennis felt like he was looking into the sun. 

“Seriously?” Mas asked. 

“Well you woke me up at a ridiculous hour so maybe I can actually get some sleep,” Dennis tried to sound like he was annoyed but Mac was already unbuckling and wrenching open the car door. Dennis settled into the passenger seat and watched Mac as he adjusted the seat and mirrors. 

The thing about being in the passenger seat is the driver doesn’t realize when you’re staring at everything they’re doing since they have to keep their eyes on the road. Dennis watched the way Mac tapped his fingers to the beat of the song. He watched the way Mac pursed his lips slightly as he thought. He watched the way Mac’s face would scrunch up in anger when some dude cut him off in traffic. He swerved in front of their car causing Mac to slam on his breaks. He reached his arm out across Dennis’ chest as if that would do anything to save Dennis if they crashed. The sentiment still made Dennis smile. 

It’s not as if Dennis never looked at Mac before. They’ve lived together for over 20 years. At this point, he’s pretty sure he’s seen more of Mac than he’s seen of himself. But, he never really _saw_ Mac before this. He didn’t realize how calming his presence was. How just the sight of Mac made Dennis breath deeper. 

“Dude, I’m starving,” Mac said an hour later. Dennis glanced at the clock on the dashboard and stretched his arms up as high as the ranger roof would allow. 

“We can stop for lunch, I guess, since check in isn’t for another four hours or so,” Dennis said. They pulled off at the next stop and ended up in a sketchy looking local diner. The outside was chrome with baby blue accents around the windows and the trim. The Blue Ribbon Diner had seen better days. When they walked inside a bell on the door chimed, causing a line of burly looking men sitting at the counter to turn their heads to look at them.

“Sit anywhere you like,” the woman behind the counter said. She was smoking a cigarette and her hair was done in a way that looked like it hadn’t been changed since the 80s. 

“Mac, we’re going to die here,” Dennis said under his breath as they slid into the booth closest to the door. 

“This is all part of the road trip experience,” Mac exclaimed. 

“We live two hours away from the resort, this could hardly qualify as a road trip,” Dennis said and then jumped when the waitress threw menus down on the table in front of them. Up close Dennis realized she was wearing a nametag that said “Dorene.” 

“Specials are chicken fried steak and tuna melt. D’ya want anything to drink?” Dorene still had the cigarette in her mouth as she took out her notepad. She had a raspy voice that suggested she smoked a pack a day for the past 30 years. 

“I’ll have a water with a lemon wedge,” Dennis said. Dorene snorted as if she was amused that Dennis wanted lemon with his water. 

“Alright, and you?” She turned to Mac. 

“I’ll have a beer,” Mac said. 

“Don’t have alcohol,” Dorene said with a scoff. 

“What do you mean you don’t have alcohol?” Mac asked, annoyance seeping into his voice. 

“We’re a diner. Why would we have beer?” 

“I don’t know, you're an eating establishment. Every meal I’ve ever had goes better with an alcoholic beverage so-” Dennis noticed Mac was working himself up. Without thinking he reached out and placed his hand on Mac’s which was resting on the table. Mac looked over at him with those wide puppy dog eyes that made Dennis’ breath catch in his throat. “I’ll just have a water,” Mac finished. Dorene rolled her eyes at the theatrics and stalked off to get the drinks. 

“You good, man?” Dennis asked looking over the top of the menu at Mac. His hand was still itching from when he touched Mac’s. 

“Yeah, just what place doesn’t have beer?” Mac wondered. He was visibly calmer but Dennis could tell he was still annoyed. He considered reaching over the table to touch him again but he didn't trust the line of burly looking trucker men at the counter to not hate crime them as soon as they step outside. Also they weren’t pretending to be a couple yet so there’s no logical reason why he should be comforting Mac. There was no real reason why he should reach across the table to touch his hand, but Dennis couldn’t fully understand why he so strongly wanted to. 

“Okay, well, I’d rather not die in a diner in the middle of this hick town so maybe tone down the dramatics, yeah?” Dennis’ tone was a little harsher than he intended, but it didn’t seem to bother Mac. Dorene came back and took their order with the same air of disinterest and annoyance as when she took their drink order. 

“What do you think her deal is?” Mac leaned over the table to whisper closer to Dennis. Dennis slightly leaned forward as well. His eyes dropped briefly to Mac’s lips before moving back across the diner to where Dorene was standing. She was behind the counter, going down the line and filling up empty coffee cups. 

“My guess? She’s probably worked here her whole life. Alone and bitter about never doing anything but work in this run down diner. All she has left is her nicotine addiction and a daughter that won't talk to her who is pregnant with a baby of her own and careening in the same life trajectory as her mother,” Dennis said. He kept his voice low so no one but Mac could hear him. His eyes traced over Mac’s face when he was looking the other way. 

“Dude...that’s kind of dark,” Mac said and Dennis shrugged, “do you think that will be us?” Mac asked after a minute. 

“How could that possibly be us?” Dennis asked but as soon as Mac said it he couldn’t help but notice the parallels between his fictional story about Dorene’s life and their own life. 

“Well I mean we’ve been working in the same place our whole lives and we’ve never really done anything either,” Mac said toying with a straw wrapper. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. 

“Yeah, but we’re different,” Dennis moved his hand in the air as if he were swatting away a bug. 

“How?”

“Because we have each other,” Dennis said before he realized what he was saying, “also you don't have a daughter,” he added quickly to play it as a joke. 

Dorene brought their food over, breaking the tension of the moment. She walked away without asking if there was anything else they needed. 

Dennis insisted on driving the rest of the way to the resort. It was his car after all. He wasn’t overly fond of being in the passenger seat. 

Even though he was supposed to be watching the road, he would steal glances at Mac. Every so often he swore he caught Mac’s eyes studying him before darting the other way. 

When they got to the resort, they went straight to reception. 

“Hi, welcome to Paradise Stream! Are you checking in?” The perky blonde girl at the front desk asked.

“Yes, we’re under the name McDonald,” Mac said with a big smile and put his arm around Dennis’s shoulder. Dennis almost swatted him away before remembering they were supposed to be a couple. He inched closer to Mac and put his arm around Mac’s waist. Mac stuttered for a second but got right back into the story he was telling. 

“We’ve been together for like so long, but this is our first vacation together,” Mac said, “isn’t that right, sweetie?” Dennis slow blinked at Mac before snapping into his bubbly persona. 

“That’s right, honey,” Dennis said with a sickly sweet smile. 

“Well aren’t you two just the cutest,” a middle-aged woman standing with her husband said. She had one hand on her husband's chest so she could show off the giant rock on her finger. For some reason this made Dennis feel the need to prove himself. 

“You know what? That’s what all of our friends say, right, Mac?” Dennis said. He linked his arm with Mac’s and rubbed up and down his bicep. 

“Uh, yup, that’s right, Dennis,” Mac said. 

“Well, maybe we’ll see you around. My name is Brenda and this is my husband Gary,” the woman said and pursed her botox filled lips. Her husband just grunted and they walked away. 

“Oh Mac, I think you’re right. I think we have to prove ourselves to these people,” Dennis said and raised an eyebrow at Mac. 

“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about, dude! Let’s go shove it in these high society assholes’ faces,” Mac said and gave Dennis a high five. Instead of pulling their hands away, Mac laced their fingers and Dennis froze as they slowly lowered their interlocked hands at their sides. 

“Good?” Mac asked in a low voice and Dennis couldn’t do anything but nod slowly. 

They walked hand in hand to their room standing way closer than they usually would. They smiled and gave a nod to each couple they passed. Once they were inside their room, they instantly separated. Dennis flexed his hand, surprised at the coolness that flowed through him from the lack of contact. He noticed that Mac took a few steps away from him and Dennis felt almost hurt that Mac would want to get away from him so quickly. 

“Okay so from the looks of it, we are the only gay couple here which gives us an advantage over the withering middle aged couples on the brink of divorce,” Dennis said. Mac bounced on the bed lightly and looked around the room. There was a bottle of champagne and rose petals surrounding the bucket. On the bedside table, there was a booklet of all the things that were included in their all inclusive deal. It was bound with glue that was falling apart, giving it a cheap, rushed look. Mac flipped through it to see all the things the resort offered: couples yoga, cycling, ballroom dancing. All the typical couple bonding activities. 

“We should go to as many of these activities as possible. We could definitely prove ourselves there,” Mac said with a smile and held up the booklet. 

“Yes Mac, good thinking,” Dennis said and genuinely smiled at Mac. It was nice being with him like this. There was no yelling, no scratching, just good old scheming and hanging out like the best friends they are. Just like old times. 

“Okay, in 20 minutes there is an ice breaker cocktail mixer in the main lobby. Let's get our story straight,” Dennis said. He sat down on the bed next to Mac. 

“Good idea, gotta be prepared,” Mac said. He got up from the bed and clapped his hands together as he started pacing. 

“So let’s say we own a small business with a couple other friends, simple enough,” Dennis said, “the closer we keep it to our own lives, the less slip ups we will have.”

“Good point, but lets spruce it up a little,” Mac said and Dennis agreed, making his fingers into a little steeple against his lips.

Once they got their stories straight, they made their way down to the cocktail mixer. Brenda from the lobby earlier was standing at a table with another couple around Mac and Dennis’s age. Brenda with her botox filled lips was laughing at something the other husband said which made her husband sigh and take a long sip of his drink. 

“Mac! Dennis!” She exclaimed when she noticed them coming over. Dennis gripped Mac’s arm harder and shot her a fake smile.

“Brenda! How are you?” Dennis asked. A waiter came over and asked them for their drink orders. Mac ordered for the both of them and turned back to the conversation. 

“Oh we’re all settled in sweetie, our room is amazing,” She said and rubbed her husband’s chest again to show off her ring. A waitress sat down their drinks. 

“Yeah, ours is also amazing,” Dennis said and sipped his cocktail while still giving Brenda a look. After a second she motioned to the other couple at the table with them, “oh how rude of me! This is Mary and Dave, they’re celebrating their 10th anniversary.” Mary and Dave nodded at Mac and Dennis and began talking to each other again, keeping to themselves. 

“Uh, so what do you do?” Mac asked turning his attention to Brenda. 

“Well, my husband Gary here was the Chief of Surgery at Johns Hopkins for years and now that he’s retired, we are finally taking time to ourselves to enjoy each other and our marriage,” Brenda said. 

“Oh isn’t that just the sweetest,” Dennis said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Gary just grunted and finished off his drink. 

“We own a small business with our friends,” Mac said after a second of Dennis and Brenda glaring at each other. He nudged Dennis slightly with a sweet smile. 

“It’s more of a family business than a business with friends. Our really good friend Charlie owns the business with us, while my twin sister Deandra and our father Frank are part of it as well,” Dennis said, “there's just something so rewarding about being able to wake up each day and go to work with the people you love, right honey?” 

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Mac said. Dennis was better at making up the lies which worked since Mac could just agree with him. 

“How did you two meet?” Brenda asked. The waitress brought over more drinks. 

“We met when we were in high school and have just been together ever since,” Mac said. It technically wasn’t a lie. They just left out the part about Mac and Charlie hanging out underneath the bleachers, supplying Dennis drugs. Back then, Dennis had no idea those two guys under the bleachers would become the people he was closest to in the world. If you had asked 10th grade Dennis what his plans were, he would have told you in 20 years he’d be married to Maureen Ponderosa (which did _not_ turn out how 10th grade Dennis would have imagined.) He would have told you he’d have a kid or two. There's no way he could have predicted this turn of events. 

Brenda went on and on about how she met Gary when they were both at a singles mixer in New Jersey. Dennis almost scoffed at that. So pathetic. Him and Mac had a way more romantic story than these two jokers. 

“Me and Dave also met in high school,” Mary said. 

“Yeah?” Dennis asked forcefully. Mary and Dave were no threat to him and Mac. He wasn’t going to waste time talking to her. Mary looked at him like he was crazy and turned back to her husband. After a minute they walked away to join another couple. 

“Hello all,” someone at the front of the room with a microphone said, “Welcome to the 14th annual Paradise Stream Couples Week!” Everyone around the room clapped lightly. 

“We come every year,” Brenda whispered to Dennis. He forced a smile at her and then turned to Mac.

“Mac, I can’t stand this bitch,” he whispered between gritted teeth and a fake smile. Mac patted Dennis’s thigh and let his hand linger there for a second. Because they were pretending. 

After the cocktail mixer, they went back to their room. Dennis was a little tipsy and was ranting to Mac about Brenda. 

“God, she’s so smug. She thinks she’s so much better than us,” Dennis said. Once Mac unlocked the door after fumbling with it for a minute, Dennis started unbuttoning his shirt. He tripped over his pants and took them off until he was just in his undershirt and boxers. He sat down on the round bed, and continued, “Oh, we met at a couples mixer in Jersey. Gary is a surgeon,” Dennis imitated Brenda in a shrill, nasally voice. 

“Did you see how Gary didn’t even give a shit? Ha! What a bozo,” Mac said. He also stripped out of his pants and pulled off his shirt. Since he wasn’t wearing a button up, he had no undershirt. Dennis got a full view of Mac’s abs. His breath caught in his throat as he raked his eyes up and down Mac’s torso. This is the first time he’s seen Mac’s new body up close since he got back from North Dakota. He quickly looked away before Mac caught him looking.

He started to get underneath the covers and pulled them up to his chest. He turned off the lamp next to the bed and actually started to fall asleep until Mac got underneath the covers with him. There was a surge in his chest when he felt the warmth of Mac next to him. The round bed just pushed them as close as they could possibly be without touching. Every once in a while Mac would shift and his arm or his leg would brush against Dennis. Dennis laid deathly still. 

He tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach, or the way his heart would flutter every time Mac shifted slightly closer to him. He wasn’t in eighth grade, there's no reason for him to be feeling this way _especially_ about Mac. This was the man he’s been best friends with for almost 30 years now. He’s shared a bed with him more times than he can count so why is tonight any different? He convinced himself that the romantic atmosphere was messing with his head and turned so his back was facing Mac. 

“A pottery class? Seriously, Mac?” Dennis asked. They were sitting at breakfast, (well - more like brunch, since they both slept until 10:30) and Mac had a copy of all the activities the resort had to offer in front of them. 

“Yeah, why not? Maybe we can make something cool for our apartment,” Mac said with a childlike glee in his tone. Dennis rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. 

“Alright, I guess,” Dennis said. He glanced at the itinerary and looked at the other options for today. They offered couples yoga at the same time as the pottery. At least Dennis can be grateful Mac didn’t push to do that (though the thought of Mac pressing up against him as they stretched into various compromising positions didn’t sound like the worst way to spend an afternoon). 

They finished up their coffee and found their way to the makeshift pottery studio. It looked like a conference room that they tried to convert into some kind of art studio. There were 10-15 pottery wheels set up, only half of them were occupied by various couples. 

“Welcome! Find a wheel together and I will bring you some materials,” the instructor said. She had long wavy hair that was being held back by a bandana. She had on overalls that were covered in clay. She looked exactly what you would expect a pottery instructor to look like. 

Mac lead them to one of the wheels where there were two stools. The instructor brought them some clay, a handful of random tools to mold the clay, and two aprons for them to wear. She handed Mac and Dennis the aprons and showed them the different materials as she set them down on the table in front of them. Dennis didn’t know what the tools were but he pretended to listen and she explained what each of them did. After that she walked to the other side of the room to greet another couple. They sat around waiting for some more couples to wander in until it was time to begin. 

“Welcome to couples pottery. Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves,” the instructor said, “my name is Natalie and I’ll be showing you what to do today, okay? Let’s start with you,” she motioned towards the couple closest to her on the left. 

“Um, we’re Sandra and Bill and we’ve been together for seven years.” The couples all went down the line and introduced themselves until they got to Mac and Dennis. 

“We’re Mac and Dennis and we’ve been together for about 20 years, I guess,” Mac said and the instructor widened her eyes. 

“Wow, how neat,” she said in an airy, low voice, “so, couples pottery. What is it?” Natalie shifted in her seat so one of her knees was pulled up against her chest. 

“Is couples pottery really a thing?” Dennis whispered, leaning closer to Mac. Mac shrugged, but he was amused. 

“Couples pottery is all about getting closer as a couple. It’s about creating something together out of love and encouraging each other in everything you do,” Natalie explained in her soft airy voice. As she spoke, she used big gesturing hand motions. 

“Oh god,” Dennis said under his breath. 

“So, husbands position yourselves behind your wives, as she puts her hands on the clay and begins to mold it, rest your hands over hers and simply move with her,” Natalie said. She was already rotating the wheel and molding her clay while she spoke. There was an awkwardness around the room as the husbands tried to position themselves behind their wives. 

“Mac, I didn’t know this would be a freaky sex pottery class,” Dennis hissed. 

“Well I didn't either but we’re already here so we might as well play along,” Mac said. He moved behind Dennis and spread his legs so Dennis’ back was pressed against his chest. The couples yoga might have been a better bet. 

“Make sure you feel each other's every movement. Become one with your partner,” Natalie said. Mac placed his hands over Dennis’ and rested his arms on top of his. 

“You know this is just like that Swayze movie where he’s a ghost and he’s doing pottery with that Demi Moore chick. What’s that movie called?” Mac asked. His chin was resting on Dennis’ shoulder so his voice was right in his ear. 

“...The movie is called _Ghost_ , Mac,” Dennis said. He felt a shiver run through his body at their proximity. 

“Really? That’s kind of a stupid name for a movie,” Mac said but he moved his hands up Dennis’ wrists, beginning to mimic the scene. 

“Dude, if you spread that shit up my forearms I’m going to kill you,” Dennis hissed. He wondered if Mac could feel his pulse pounding in his wrists. 

“They seem to be having a good time,” Mac said and jerked his chin towards a couple across the room doing their best impression of the scene. Dennis laughed and leaned back into Mac’s chest some more. Mac laughed into the crook of Dennis’ neck. His lips brushed the skin, leaving a trail of heat on Dennis’ skin. 

Dennis tuned out the rest of what Natalie was saying and tried to shape his lump of clay into any kind of shape that would get them out of there quickest. 

“Okay folks, when you are done leave your piece with your name and number and be sure to pick it up by the end of the week,” Natalie said, and Dennis couldn’t get up quick enough. They were covered in clay and he laughed when he saw the clay on Mac’s face. 

“I guess pottery is a little messier than I thought,” Mac said while they were struggling to scrub some of the clay off. 

“How could you possibly watch _Ghost_ and think pottery isn’t messy?” Dennis asked and Mac splashed him with some water as they both laughed. 

Once they finally scrubbed all the clay off they went back to change their clothes (because even though Natalie gave them aprons, they still managed to destroy their clothing). It wasn’t quite time to go eat dinner and there weren’t any activities going on at that moment. 

“We could go in one of those swan paddle boats,” Mac suggested and Dennis shot him a disgruntled look. 

“Absolutely not. No way I’m getting into one of those things,” Dennis said. 

“We could go get drunk at the hotel bar,” Mac suggested and Dennis made a dismissive noise. They were just lounging around their room. Mac was sitting on a chair in the corner, throwing something into the air and catching it over and over again. Dennis was laying on the circular bed scrolling through his phone. He almost jumped when it pinged. 

DEE: you and mac kill each other yet? 

He scoffed. Of course that bitch would expect the worst of them. God forbid she actually be _happy_ that him and Mac are bonding again. 

DENNIS: no we’re actually having a good time and rebuilding our friendship

DENNIS: not that you would know what thats like

DENNIS: because you have no friends 

DEE: my moneys on you, day 4, so don't let me down

DENNIS: glad to know you have that much faith in me 

She just responded with a thumbs up emoji. 

“They’re betting on when we will kill each other,” Dennis said, flipping his phone around so Mac can read their texts. Mac snorted and went back to throwing his thing in the air and catching it. Dennis could tell Mac was getting antsy. He didn’t like doing nothing for a long period of time. He tended to get restless and annoy the shit out of Dennis. 

“Let’s go on a walk,” Mac suggested jumping out of his chair. Dennis agreed and they made their way down to the pond on the resort grounds. 

There was a sidewalk surrounding the pond where people wandered. Every 10 or 15 feet there were benches where couples could cozy up together under the weak street lamps and the moonlight. There were also multiple swan paddle boats in the pond where the couples could paddle around in circles. Dennis shivered and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t realize it had gotten but Mac noticed. 

“Do you want my jacket?” Mac asked. He paused to unzip his hoodie. Dennis stopped and turned around to protest but before he could talk. Mac reached around and wrapped the hoodie around Dennis’ shoulders. 

“I don't ever get cold,” Mac said when they began walking, “you, on the other hand, don't have enough iron, so you always get cold.” 

“I don't think that’s how it works,” Dennis said pulling the hoodie around him tighter. He didn’t think about it when he turned his head slightly to smell the fabric that smelled like Mac’s cologne. 

“No, it’s true, Dee told me,” Mac said confidently. 

“Oh, then it _must_ be true,” Dennis said, but he smiled at Mac. They walked around the pond but Mac stopped suddenly. 

“We’re going in one of those swans,” Mac said and began marching his way towards the attendant in charge. 

“Wait, what?” Dennis asked, speeding up to catch up with Mac. 

“We’re going in the swan,” Mac said and ignored Dennis’ complaints. Once they acquired a boat, Mac held out his hand to help Dennis step in. 

“This is so fucking stupid, man,” Dennis grumbled, but he stepped into the boat anyway. 

“C’mon dude. Let’s go play bumper boats with these other bozos,” Mac said with excitement in his voice. 

“Oh we’ll definitely be kicked out if we do that,” Dennis said, doing his best to steer them away from any other boats despite Mac’s best efforts to peddle the boat as fast as he can. 

“They can’t kick us out, we already paid,” Mac said.

“You didn’t pay for shit. You won this trip,” Dennis said while rolling his eyes. They both stopped pedaling as hard and just drifted around the pond. 

They sat together in silence, neither of them quite looking each other in the eye. Dennis wasn’t sure why it got so awkward all of the sudden. He was going to say something but then he looked down and realized how close his and Mac’s hands were. They were resting in the middle of the seat, the backs of their hands barely brushing. He didn’t want to move away, but just as he was going to say something, just to break the weird silence, Mac beat him to it. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” he said. Mac said it so quietly, Dennis wasn’t sure he said anything at all. 

“What?” He asked stupidly. He couldn’t help but notice how romantic the atmosphere had gotten. The sun was setting beneath the trees on the other side of the pond giving everything a warm golden glow. There were couples all around them walking hand in hand, cuddling on the benches, kissing in the swan boats. 

“I’m just happy you're back. I missed you,” Mac said sheepishly. Dennis’ heart beat faster at the words. 

“I-” Dennis started to say that he missed Mac too, but he was interrupted by a big bang that caused both him and Mac to lurch forward. He turned around sharply, prepared to yell, but Mac beat him to the punch.

“Hey, asshole! Why don't you watch where you’re going!” He yelled. 

“Well maybe if you weren’t just sitting there we-” the wife began yelling back. Dennis stood up quickly, intending to put the fear of God into her but he promptly fell straight into the freezing water. When he broke the surface, he didn’t dare look at the other couple in case they were laughing at him. All he saw was Mac’s worried face and the outstretched hand he was going to use to help Dennis back into the boat. 

Dennis was shivering and sputtering as he climbed back into the boat. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Mac asked. He was obviously worried about Dennis’ safety but Dennis was more concerned about the other couples watching him fall into the pond. Were they laughing at him? 

“Shut up, Mac. Let’s go back to the room,” Dennis said, teeth chattering. 

“Boy, that was a nasty fall, huh?” The husband in the boat asked. He had a shit eating grin on his face and the wife was snickering into her hand. Dennis kind of wanted to cry. His throat grew tighter and he felt the tears begin to prickle his eyes. He tried to clear his throat to make it go away, but it wasn’t working. If anything it made him feel even worse. 

“Don’t listen to them,” Mac said as he started to pedal them back across the pond, but Dennis didn’t say anything back. He knew his voice would crack if he tried to talk. He also knew it was stupid to be well into his 40s and wanting to cry over what essentially boiled down to an unfortunate accident and some high school taunting, but he couldn’t help it. 

They walked back to the room in silence. Mac tried to put his arm around Dennis to warm him up but Dennis wouldn’t let him. He winced every time his sneakers make pathetic squishing sounds with every step. He refused to look up as they walked down the hall. Were people staring at them? Did they already know what happened? Did they already hear about the bumbling fool that fell out of the swan boat?

As soon as they unlocked the door, Dennis made a beeline straight for the bathroom and locked it. He put his head into his hands and he wanted to scream. How dare they make him look like an idiot, especially when he and Mac are supposed to be proving themselves to these people. 

He began stripping his cold, wet clothes and turned the shower to a scalding hot temperature. It was almost too hot to bear. He stood in front of the mirror and studied his reflection until it was too foggy to see anymore. He looked at his bloodshot eyes and the mascara dripping down his face from the pond water. He closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath

After his shower, he walked back into the room. Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had picked some pajamas out for Dennis and handed them to him. Dennis dressed quickly, trying to stay out of Mac’s eye line. He noticed Mac was looking at him though, something akin to pity lingering in his eyes. Dennis was about to snap but before he could say anything, Mac stood up and pulled Dennis into a hug. 

Dennis couldn’t remember the last time he and Mac hugged. He was still for a moment, but he raised his arms and gripped the back of Mac’s shirt in return. He turned his head slightly so he was breathing into the crook of Mac’s neck. He let out a shaky sigh and Mac rubbed his hand up and down Dennis’ back, the other hand resting gently on the back of his head. After one final squeeze, Mac pulled away and went to the bathroom himself leaving Dennis alone in the room once more. 

Dennis went to his side of the bed. He went to turn off the lamp on the bedside table, but before he did, he noticed a cup of cheap english breakfast tea steaming slightly from the warmth. The tea bags were sitting in the room from when they first checked in as a complimentary refreshment along with cheap styrofoam cups. Mac must have made it for him while he was in the shower. Dennis’ heart restricted in his chest as he let a small smile creep over his face.

Sometime during the night, when Dennis was almost asleep, Mac rolled over in his sleep and draped his arm over Dennis’s chest. Dennis felt like he couldn’t breathe under the weight of it. He didn’t know what to do but it felt nice. He felt safe. He slowly moved his hand up and wrapped his hand around Mac’s forearm. For a second he thought about shoving Mac off but as his hand lingered, touching Mac’s warm skin, he rolled over on his side and pulled Mac with him so Mac was pressed against his back. Maybe it was creepy that he was doing this while Mac was asleep, but at this point he didn’t care. Dennis froze when Mac’s arm tightened but relaxed again when he went still. He fell asleep almost immediately. 

Dennis woke up before Mac. He sat up in bed and looked at Mac for a minute, studying his face as he slept. Even in his sleep Mac’s face was expressive. His eyebrows would furrow when he was having a bad dream, a small smile would creep on his face if he was having a good one. This morning his face was calm and content. Dennis wondered what he was dreaming about. 

He climbed out of the bed, being careful not to jostle it too much in hopes he wouldn’t wake Mac up. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and slipped into his shoes. He intended to go find some coffee for him and Mac. As soon as he was out of the room, he dialed Dee’s number. 

“Hello?” She has obviously been woken up from the phone ringing. 

“I think I’m in love with Mac,” Dennis said. 

“Well good morning to you too,” Dee mumbled. He heard her shuffling and imagined her sitting up in her bed, checking the outdated alarm clock she kept next to her bed. 

“Dee are you even listening to me? I’m having a crisis. Don’t you want to help your brother out during a crisis?” Dennis asked. 

“I would love nothing more than to help you with your big gay crisis at 8 in the morning,” Dee said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “what do you want me to tell you, Den? He’s obviously in love with you too so go bang him!” 

“Thank you, this has been incredibly unhelpful, good bye,” Dennis said and hung up the phone. A few seconds later the phone started to ring again. 

“Okay I’m sorry. Tell me what’s going on,” Dee said after he answered.

“I think I’m in love with Mac. I think I’ve been in love with him for a long time,” Dennis said. 

“And that’s a bad thing because…” She trailed off in a questioning tone. 

“Because Mac and I have a balance in our relationship. We’re friends and that works because if we make it something more that could ruin everything. What if he leaves? What if he hates me and realizes he doesn’t want to be with me in that way when we actually do it?” Dennis was getting panicky as he talked through the potential worst case scenarios. He forced himself to stop walking and leaned against the wall. 

“Okay, well, first of all, he’s lived with you for like 20 years. I don't think either of you are leaving. I don’t think anyone else could possibly put up with you,” Dee said. On the other side of the line he heard her walking around her apartment and he had the sudden urge to be there with her, curled up on her couch as she gave him advice. 

“What if I’m not ready,” Dennis said and he heard Dee sigh in frustration on the other side. 

“Buck up, buttercup. You’ll be fine,” Dee said and with that, she hung up the phone. Dennis considered throwing his phone against the wall in anger but thought against it. He wouldn't have been able to replace it until they got home anyway. _Buck up, buttercup._ What kind of advice is that? He bares his soul to her and all she says is _buck up, buttercup?_ That’s the last time he calls her for advice for anything. 

He managed to find some coffee at a small coffee bar that was complimentary at the resort. He carried the two cups back to the room and cracked open the door. He stopped when he heard Mac talking on the phone. 

“I don't know Charlie, things have been good. We haven’t fought once. Maybe we needed something like this.” Dennis could imagine Mac sitting in the bed, picking at a loose thread on the blanket as he talked. 

“I’m going to take him to dinner tonight...can you at least pretend to care?” Mac’s voice raised and then he was silent again as he listened. Dennis desperately wished he could hear what Charlie was saying on the other side. He could only imagine it was something like “don’t get your hopes up, man,” or “you can do way better than him,” by the sounds Mac was making while he talked. 

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go because I don't know where Dennis went and he might come back soon,” Mac said and Dennis took that as his cue to push the door open loudly and slam it shut with his foot. He walked into the main room just as Mac was hanging up the phone. Dennis handed him the coffee cup and Mac smiled in return. Dennis went to sit in the corner chair where Mac was the night before. 

“Who was that?” Dennis asked, already knowing the answer. 

“Charlie,” Mac said with a roll of his eyes, “I called him to let him know we were alive and he didn’t give a shit.” He was sitting up in bed with his back against the headboard. His hair was fluffy and sticking up in random places since he just woke up. He was wearing a soft, dark blue t-shirt that he definitely took from Dennis’ bag and Dennis was so in love. 

“Of course not. Why would he?” Dennis asked. 

“Well it’s common courtesy to check in. I don't understand what you people don't get about that,” Mac said with a scoff. They chatted casually for the rest of the morning, not planning on doing anything else that day. After their couples pottery class and the swan boat fiasco, they were both okay taking it easy for the time being. 

That night, Mac made them get all spiffy for dinner at the 3 star restaurant at the resort. 

“Is the dinner free?” Dennis asked as he buttoned up his shirt. 

“No, I don't think so,” Mac said. He was wearing his stupid polo shirt and tie. Dennis wanted to punch whoever told Mac that was a good look. He was standing in front of the mirror brushing back his hair with an obscene amount of gel. 

“I thought this was all inclusive? What kind of sham is this?” Dennis asked. 

“I’ll pay for it, dude. It’s fine. You paid for our last monthly dinner anyway.” Dennis paused what he was doing and looked across the room at Mac. 

“That was over a year ago, man,” Dennis said and Mac shrugged. He slipped his wallet into his pocket. 

“You ready to go?” Mac asked and Dennis nodded. 

The inside of the restaurant was decorated like any Italian restaurant. It was okay but it was no Guigino’s. Maybe he and Mac should make a reservation when they get home. 

“Table for McDonald,” Mac said to the hostess. She looked at the sheet in front of her and told them to follow her. 

“You made a reservation for us?” Dennis asked as they were being led to their table. Mac just gave Dennis a blinding smile over his shoulder in return. 

Once they were settled and their waitress took their drink orders, Dennis took a better look around. It was a smallish room which didn’t seem to be a problem since there weren’t that many people there. There were couples at most of the tables around them. Instead of the piano player they have a Guigino’s, they played generic romantic piano music over the speakers. Waiters were carrying dishes of pasta and salads to the tables around them. If Dennis closed his eyes, he would assume he was at any generic Italian restaurant. For decoration, there was fake ivy wrapped around various paintings and windows. It gave the restaurant a cheap, almost Olive Garden-like feeling. 

There was a couple at the table next to them that arrived around the same time. They were holding hands over the table and making lovey dovey faces at each other. Part of Dennis wanted to sneer at them in disgust, but the other part of him wished that was him and Mac. He looked back at Mac who was looking over the menu. 

“I’m gonna get a salad,” Dennis said eventually just to fill the silence. 

“I might get the chicken parm,” Mac decided and closed the menu. 

“I was thinking, when we get back to Philly, we should make a reservation at Guigino’s,” Dennis said. He was fiddling with the napkin on the table in front of him. 

“Oh, totally. Frank and Charlie have been bugging me to do something with them. Maybe that will get them off my back for a little while,” Mac said. He was looking around and Dennis was taken aback. 

“What? No. Not with Frank and Charlie. I mean you and me. Like we used to,” Dennis said. Mac looked over at him in surprise. 

“Wait, for real?” Mac asked and Dennis nodded. The waitress came back to take their orders, leaving them in silence again. 

“You know, uh,” Dennis leaned forward slightly and cleared his throat, “when I was in North Dakota, I thought about you a lot...all of you,” he added the last part quickly at the end. 

“Really?” Mac asked. 

“Yeah, I would wonder what you were doing. I would wonder who was closing the bar and what dumb schemes you were getting up to,” Dennis said with a sad smile. 

“Why didn’t you just call? You could’ve called,” Mac said. His face had grown darker. 

“It didn’t feel right. I was trying to be a dad. It was a totally different world and I was miserable,” Dennis said with a shrug. He slammed the rest of his wine and motioned to the waitress to bring him another one. He looked over at the couple next to them again. They were still disgustingly lovey dovey, but the husband was fidgeting nervously. 

“You never talk about what happened,” Mac said. 

“There’s not much to say. I went to be a dad and it didn’t work out. Mandy and I both agreed it would be best if I came back here and if I wanted to meet Brian Jr. again when he’s older then,” Dennis finished off the sentence with a shrug. Just then the waitress brought them their food. She asked if everything looked okay and to let her know if they needed anything. The tension between him and Mac lessened as they ate quietly for a few minutes. 

“Dude, I think that guy is going to propose to his girlfriend or something,” Mac motioned his head to the table next to them. Dennis looked over and sure enough, the man was sweating bullets and fiddling with something in his pocket while he was struggling through some long drawn out speech. He was holding his girlfriend’s hand over the table and as soon as he began to push his chair out, most likely to drop to one knee, Dennis was struck with an amazing idea. He burst out of his seat and clinked his knife against his wine glass. 

“Excuse me, everyone, excuse me.” He waited until the restaurant was quiet and he glanced over at the man who was on the edge of his seat with murder in his eyes. Mac was gaping up at him, obviously trying not to laugh. Dennis cleared his throat, getting his voice ready for his speech. 

“When I was in highschool I met the man I didn’t know would become the love of my life,” he paused for dramatic effect and to steal a glance at Mac, “Mac, if you had told me when I met you under those bleachers between 4th and 5th period all those years ago that this is where we would be 30 years in the future I would have laughed in your face. 

“We have been through some ups and downs. Some impossibly hard times, but we always make it through. So that’s why I wanted to ask you, tonight, in front of this whole restaurant,” the only thing running through Dennis’ head at this point was _crushing it, crushing it, crushing it._ He got down on one knee and savored the collective gasp that rippled through the room, “Ronald McDonald, my one and only, my sun and my stars,” he took Mac’s hand in his own and winked at him, “will you marry me?” Mac jumped up in an exaggerated gesture and pulled Dennis into a hug. 

“Yes, of course, yes!” He exclaimed, loud enough for the room to hear him. He laughed into Dennis’ neck at the round of applause they were given, “that was ridiculous,” he whispered, only loud enough for Dennis to hear. 

They pulled apart and received congratulations from random couples around them. They sat back down and they were giddy with excitement. Dennis had a rush from his impulse decision to fake propose to Mac and Mac was just happy they were able to shake things up a bit. Dennis snuck a glance over at the couple next to him and the boyfriend looked defeated. Dennis almost felt bad but he figured his engagement speech was way better than anything that joker could’ve come up with. 

“Now why did you do that?” Mac asked and Dennis shrugged. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. 

“Our conversation was getting too heavy. Plus I wanted to see if the waitress would bring us anything for free,” Dennis said with a shrug. Sure enough, once they finished their food, the waitress brought them over a piece of tiramisu with two forks. 

“An engagement gift from us to you,” she said and gave them the check. 

All throughout dinner people were coming up to their table to congratulate them and wish them well. Even as they were walking out, hand in hand, random waiters and patrons were stopping them to ask about their story. They walked back to their room, still hand in hand, until they finally broke their grasp once they were behind the closed door. 

  
  


The next morning, Mac woke Dennis up by throwing a pillow at him from across the room.

“There’s an all you can eat breakfast buffet on the third floor of the main building. Let’s go drink some bottomless mimosas,” Mac said with a boyish smile. Dennis just gave him a thumbs up and slumped back down on the pillow. 

Dennis made Mac dress nice for breakfast in case they ran into Brenda and Gary. 

“You can’t wear a t-shirt and your blue pants again if we’re truly going to beat Brenda at her stupid game,” Dennis said digging through Mac’s duffle bag. 

“I don’t know if I brought anything else, Dennis,” Mac said hovering over his shoulder. Dennis paused. 

“Fine, you can borrow one of my sweaters,” Dennis said and unzipped his suitcase. He had a dark blue sweater that he handed Mac. Mac replaced the t-shirt he was wearing and Dennis’s breath caught in his throat again. The sweater, the one Mac made Dennis pack because he claimed Dennis looked good in it, stretched tight across Mac’s chest. Dennis could swear that he could almost see the abs defined through the sweater (can that even happen? Is it all in Dennis’ head?). 

“I guess I really did bulk up,” Mac said with a laugh. Dennis’ clothes used to fit him no problem but now they were almost too tight. 

“Oh this will be perfect,” Dennis said with a smug smile. Shove it in Brenda’s face that his man was 20 times hotter than Gary ever has been. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a goddamned Harlequin Romance novel. 

“Alright,” Mac said with a shrug after looking in the mirror, “you ready to go?” 

When they got to the buffet, lo and behold Brenda was in line right in front of them with Gary. 

“Boys!” Brenda said and gave both of them a hug. She held onto Mac longer than Dennis and when she pulled away, she traced her hand down Mac’s arm. Dennis seethed. Even though Mac was technically his fake boyfriend, he didn’t want to see her hands all over him. 

As they went through the food line, Dennis watched as Mac filled his plate with as much food as could possibly fit. Dennis watched in disgust and put a couple pieces of fruit on his own plate. 

“That’s all you’re gonna eat?” Mac asked and Dennis shrugged and said he wasn’t really hungry. That wasn’t really a lie, but he knew Mac would look at him with those worried puppy dog eyes if Dennis didn’t at least put something on his plate. Mac’s voice from a couple nights before telling him he didn’t get enough iron ran through his head. Once they were all done Brenda turned to them. 

“Why don’t you sit with us? We would love the company,” Brenda said. Dennis scoffed under his breath and followed Brenda to a booth on the left side of the room. Gary was already taking a huge bite of his breakfast sandwich before they even got to the table, “Jesus, Gary, at least wait until we are at the table,” Brenda snapped. Gary just grunted. 

Dennis sat and slowly ate a couple pieces of fruit. He noticed Mac glancing at him everyone in a while. He slid a piece of bacon onto Dennis’s plate. 

“It’s turkey bacon. More healthy than the regular kind, apparently,” Mac whispered. Dennis looked at him with wide eyes. He didn’t really want to eat it because he wanted to stay lean and desirable during their trip. Despite his plans, he ate the bacon. Mac smiled brightly at Dennis. 

“So what are your plans today?” Brenda asked, “Gary and I are getting couples massages. So relaxing.” 

“Last night Dennis proposed to me. It was _so_ beautiful and romantic. We were eating dinner and he just popped the question right then and there,” Mac boasted. Dennis wished at that moment that he had a ring Mac could show off. 

“Oh, how wonderful for you two!” She jumped up to give both of them a hug which Dennis returned half heartedly.

“Congrats,” Gary huffed in between bites of his bacon, egg, and cheese. 

“Thank you! The whole afternoon he was being so weird and I was just trying to figure out what was wrong with him,” Mac said, hamming up the story. 

“Yeah, well if you said no, I would have been devastated,” Dennis said, squeezing Mac’s hand on the table. 

“There’s no way I would have said no, baby,” Mac said and Dennis’ heart seized for a second as Mac looked up at him. Dennis just nodded with a smile in response, so Mac continued, “we were trying to figure out something to do to celebrate.” 

“Now, you absolutely have to go on the wine tasting tour,” Brenda said and reached her hand out to grip Mac’s forearm. That’s twice now Dennis sees red after Brenda touches Mac. 

“Yeah we’ll think about that,” Dennis snapped and intertwined his fingers with Mac’s on top of the table. Mac’s thumb rubbed circles on the back of Dennis’s hand, more to calm him down than to prove to anyone they were a couple. They made idle chit chat with Gary and Brenda while they were eating breakfast. After a while, Brenda checked her watch and made a noise of surprise. 

“Oh, we better get going. We’re going to be late to our massage. Ta ta, boys! Congrats on your engagement,” Brenda said while blowing a quick kiss in their direction. She walked out of the room with Gary close behind. 

Even though Dennis didn’t want to give Brenda the satisfaction, the wine tasting tour sounded like a good idea. There was a shuttle that left at 12 for a couple of local vineyards. There were two different stops on the wine tour and luckily it was included in their all inclusive deal. 

“Dude, I’m gonna get so blasted,” Mac said with an excited smile as they boarded the shuttle. There were two rows of seats of two. The shuttle only boarded about 14 so there were six other couples on the tour with them. 

“Yeah man, but let’s not get too sloppy,” Dennis said in a low voice, “there might be others here that we may need to upstage with our perfect relationship.” 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Mac agreed. When they got inside the first vineyard a waitress came over and handed them a bucket, “whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this?” Mac asked.

“It’s a spit bucket. Most people don’t want to swallow all the wine they taste so in order to not get inebriated, they spit it into a bucket,” the waitress explained with a smile. 

“Then what's the point?” Mac asked. 

“Yeah if you’re giving me multiple glasses of free wine, I’m gonna drink them,” Dennis said with a laugh. 

“Listen do you want the bucket or not?” The waitress asked. 

“No,” Dennis said and shooed her away. The waitress rolled her eyes with a huff and walked away. 

“Okay, next we will be moving onto the dry red,” the guide said. They started passing out glasses of red wine. Mac and Dennis both grabbed two glasses. The first one they both slammed in record time. They were starting to gain the attention of the other guests. 

“Oh that’s good stuff,” Dennis said. Mac smiled at him and Dennis couldn’t help but notice how red Mac’s lips were. He couldn’t help but think about how they would feel pressed against his own. This must have translated to his face. 

“What’s wrong dude?” Mac whispered into Dennis’s ear. His lips were so close Dennis swore he could feel them brushing against his skin. 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Dennis said. He smiled and bumped his shoulder against Mac’s. 

The next vineyard they went to focused mainly on the sweeter dessert wines which went down very easy. As the day went on, Mac and Dennis got closer and closer. Dennis told himself that it was because they were supposed to be fake dating, but he knew that wasn’t exactly the case. Mac’s arm was draped over Dennis’s shoulder and they were both giggling at the back of the crowd. 

“Can you two please keep it down?” A woman standing with her husband snapped. She turned back around with a sour look on her face. Mac and Dennis were silent for a second. They looked at each other and dissolved into more laughter. They slipped away and grabbed another glass of wine each. They went to hang out by the shuttle where the driver was passed out in the front seat. 

They sat down on the ground next to the shuttle. They were sitting close so their shoulders were pressed together even though no one was around. 

“Why don’t you like hanging out with me anymore?” Mac asked out of nowhere. Dennis choked on a sip of his wine. 

“What the hell are you talking about man?” Dennis asked, turning to face Mac. Mac looked down and traced his finger around the rim of his wine glass. 

“I don’t know, ever since you got back from North Dakota you’ve been weird towards me.” Mac paused and thought for a second, “actually it’s ever since I came out,” he said softly. Dennis didn’t know what to say. He had been acting weird towards Mac and even he didn’t know why. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Mac,” Dennis said. 

“Is it because I’m gay?” Mac asked. Dennis almost laughed at that. 

“No way man. I’m happy for you. I’m like proud of you or whatever.” Dennis mumbled the last part. Mac looked at him with wide eyes. Dennis looked up when Mac didn’t say anything and was met with Mac’s lips. At first he was completely still but after a second he gripped the back of Mac’s head and tangled his fingers through Mac’s hair. Dennis tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss. He loved the taste of wine on Mac’s lips. He pulled away for a second to look Mac in the eyes. He almost couldn’t handle the amount of love and admiration swimming in the depths of Mac’s brown eyes so he pulled Mac in for another kiss. 

This one was longer and sloppier. Mac’s tongue slipped into Dennis’s mouth and Dennis let out an involuntary moan. Mac tried to pull him closer but they were interrupted by the chatter of the other couples coming out to the shuttle. They pulled away as if they did something wrong and jumped to their feet. They both brushed off their pants and boarded the shuttle with the other couples. 

They didn’t say a word to each other the whole shuttle ride back to the resort.. Dennis looked out the window on his right. Every once in a while, Dennis would glance at Mac to find him looking out a window on the other side of the shuttle. 

When they got back, they walked to their room in silence. Dennis thought that maybe things would get hot and heavy once they were inside their locked room, but Mac just rubbed the back of his head and pointed to the bathroom door. 

“I’m gonna…” he trailed off and closed the door behind him. Dennis was stuck to where he was standing. What the hell was that? Maybe he regretted it. Maybe now that they actually kissed, Mac realized how much he didn’t want Dennis. Maybe because he had been thinking about it for so long now that it happened, it was anticlimactic. 

He could feel himself getting worked up so he sat down on the bed, trying to slow his breathing. There was no denying his feelings for Mac at this point, but he never planned on doing anything about it for this exact reason. Now he’s sure that Mac hates him and their friendship is never going to be the same. 

A few minutes later he looked up as Mac walked out of the bathroom and made his way across the room to his suitcase. 

“Are you okay?” Mac asked without looking up. He was rummaging through his bag but Dennis figured he was only doing it so he wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes. 

“Yeah, man. I’m good. Cool as a cucumber,” Dennis lied. Mac gave him a fake smile, his face still red from the copious amounts of wine they drank. They stood there and looked at each other for a second before Dennis got up and walked past Mac into the bathroom. 

He stood at the sink with his hands on the counters, staring at himself in the mirror. 

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he muttered at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t remember who kissed who first, but whoever it was disrupted the peaceful balance of their volatile relationship. They had certain unspoken rules they both followed and one of the top rules was definitely no kissing under any circumstances. They had managed to do that for almost 30 years now, but it was all ruined. 

After he finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, he stayed in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. He wanted to wait as long as possible until he was sure Mac was asleep. Dennis slowly got up and peeked his head around the door and found the room dark except for one lamp on the bedside table. Mac was laying on his side facing away from Dennis 

When Dennis woke up the next morning, Mac was nowhere to be found. He called out his name to see if he was in the bathroom or something, but there was no response. He had a feeling he wasn’t coming back to the room any time soon so Dennis called Dee. 

“Den, you have to stop calling me at the ass crack of dawn,” she mumbled as soon as she picked up. 

“I kissed Mac, or Mac kissed me. I don’t remember exactly who kissed who, the details are fuzzy, but the important thing is we kissed,” Dennis forced out. He was lying on the bed with one of his hands covering his face. 

“Good for you,” Dee said. Dennis could hear the exasperation in her voice. 

“What? No, you bitch, this isn’t a good thing,” Dennis said sitting up suddenly. 

“Sorry, I can’t keep up.”

“Mac is nowhere to be found,” (not that he looked very hard), “so he obviously regrets the whole thing. What if he abandoned me alone in this grimy hotel room?”

“Did you try calling him?” Dee asked. 

“Obviously not. He’s the one that abandoned me, he should be the one to reach out,” Dennis said and Dee sighed. 

“This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Dee said. 

“How is my suffering ridiculous to you?” Dennis asked. 

“You’re not suffering. You’re acting like a 14 year old. Go find Mac and talk to him like an adult,” Dee said and hung up. Dennis looked at his phone for a second, half angry that Dee snapped at him and half sad at the lack of real advice she gave him. 

Talk to Mac? How was he supposed to talk to Mac when he didn’t know if Mac hated him? Maybe Mac was just getting coffee and was going to burst into the room at any minute to tell Dennis about the crazy experience he had at the coffee stand. He’ll hand Dennis the coffee and they’ll laugh and forget all about the kiss the night before. Dennis waited a few minutes, watching the door, but Mac wasn’t coming. 

Dennis considered just laying in bed, wallowing in self pity, until Mac came back, but he figured he could walk around. Maybe look for Mac and “talk to him” like Dee suggested. He reluctantly got out of bed and got dressed. He held his phone for a second and considered texting Mac, but shoved it in his pocket. 

The resort wasn’t that big. There was a bigger building that had rooms for guests to sleep in and most of the activities promised in the brochure. There was another smaller building that acted as the breakfast, lunch, and dinner restaurant right next to the hotel. There was a short path that connected the two and then a longer path that led down a small hill to the pond where the swan boat incident that shall not be mentioned happened. The path then went around the pond and broke off at the other side and that led to a small collection of cottages that you could pay an obscene amount of money to occupy for the week. 

Dennis figured Mac wasn’t near the cottages but he went down to walk around the pond to see if he could spot him around anywhere. He then circled around and went to the restaurant where they had their breakfast buffet the day before. Mac wasn’t there but he was unfortunate enough to run into Brenda and Gary as he was walking out. 

“Well, Hello, my dear!” Brenda said and gave him a half ass hug. When she pulled away she was looking around for Mac, “where’s that handsome man of yours?”

“He had to run to the store in town to get something,” Dennis lied. He wasn’t about to admit to Brenda that Mac was avoiding him and nowhere to be found. 

  
  


After his day of pathetically wandering around the resort, alone, Dennis walked into their hotel room, surprised to find Mac in the bathroom. He was standing in front of the mirror with his hands framing each side of the sink. He looked sad. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” Dennis asked Mac. He had him blocked into the bathroom so there was no chance of walking away this time. 

“I’m not ignoring you.” 

“That’s a goddamn lie and you know it.” 

“I’m sorry for kissing you, Den,” Mac said. He was fidgeting his hands. Dennis looked over at him in surprise. 

“What are you sorry for?” Dennis asked. 

“I wasn’t really thinking and I was drunk and I know you don’t want me to kiss you so I was just giving you space becau-” Mac rambled and Dennis almost laughed. 

“Mac, I want you to kiss me,” Dennis said, “I thought you regretted it and that’s why you weren’t talking to me.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you because I thought you were mad at me which is why I thought you weren’t talking to me,” Mac said and lifted his arm in a defensive gesture, “how could I regret that?” Mac asked. After a second Dennis pulled him into a kiss. It was a deep kiss that Dennis never wanted to end. It was less sloppy than their previous kiss since they were both sober. Dennis sighed in relief against Mac’s lips once he finally broke the kiss. They rested their foreheads together for a moment, just savoring the moment. 

“Wanna go scope out the hot tub? It’s a shame that no one has used it since we got here,” Mac said and Dennis made a face. 

“Mac, that thing is probably filled with bacteria,” Dennis said, but the hot tub did sound enticing. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Mac said with a smirk. Dennis couldn’t hold back his own smile and watched as Mac jumped up to pull off his shirt. He flexed his muscles at Dennis. Mac walked out of the bathroom kicking out of his pants. He went and fiddled with the timer on the hot tub so the bubbles would turn on. 

“How cheesy is it that it’s heart shaped,” Dennis said with a scoff. He was nervous but he would never show it. 

The bubbles started and Mac looked back at Dennis with a suggestive smile and an eyebrow raise. Dennis smiled back at him and took his shirt off. He walked towards Mac and wrapped his arms around Mac’s neck. He pulled Mac close and pressed their lips together. Dennis moved closer so their bodies were pressed against each other and he could trace his hand down Mac’s arm and torso to feel his muscles. 

He gasped as Mac’s hand travelled down his back and went to slip Dennis’s pants off. Dennis kicked out of them and the only thing separating them was their boxers. Mac’s breathing quickened as Dennis dipped his fingers just under the waistline of Mac’s boxers.

“Lose these and let's go in the hot tub,” Dennis whispered against Mac’s lips. Mac nodded eagerly and immediately pulled his boxers down. He stood in front of Dennis completely naked and Dennis’s heart skipped a beat. It’s not like he’s never seen Mac naked before, but this was different. He was actually allowed to look at this time. He was allowed to admire him. He raked his eyes up and down Mac’s body. After a second Mac turned around and got into the hot tub. He settled down on the bench seat and looked up expectedly at Dennis. 

Dennis took a deep breath and took his own boxers off. Usually he would be all over presenting his body and letting Mac admire him, but after seeing Mac’s new and improved body, he felt a little self conscious. Mac could go out there and get any guy he could ever imagine looking like that so why does he still want Dennis? Mac reached out and placed his hand on Dennis’s stomach. Dennis stepped forward and lowered himself so he was in Mac’s lap, one leg on either side of his hips. 

“You’re perfect,” Mac said and kissed up and down the side of Dennis’s neck. Dennis shivered at the compliment and ran his fingers through Mac’s hair. Their lips met again and Dennis moved his hips against Mac’s making them both moan softly. 

“God I’ve wanted this for so long,” Mac admitted even though they both knew that. 

“I know, baby,” Dennis whispered, the pet name slipping out naturally. His hand traveled down the front of Mac’s torso. He lightly brushed his thumb over Mac’s nipple. Mac let his head fall back and rest against the side of the hot tub. Dennis watched Mac’s face and his hand went further down Mac’s torso. Mac’s breathing got quicker as Dennis’s fingers traced the defined V shape on his hips. 

“Come on, don’t tease me man,” Mac said and Dennis gave him a wry smile. Mac spread his hips slightly to give Dennis more access. Dennis wrapped his fingers around Mac’s hardening cock. Mac’s mouth dropped open and he let out an involuntary groan. 

“Is that what you wanted?” Dennis asked into Mac’s ear. Mac nodded and lifted his head up to find Dennis’s lips. Dennis kissed his back and kept a steady rhythm of his hand. He would speed up and then as soon as Mac would start bucking his hips and curling his toes, Dennis would slow down to a tortuously slow pace that drove Mac crazy. The bubbles turned off but neither of them noticed or particularly cared. 

“I’m getting all pruny,” Dennis said, “lets go to bed.” He walked out of the hot tub and walked towards the bed. He could feel Mac following him like a puppy and as soon as he turned around to sit on the bed, Mac tackled him and straddled his hips.

They scooted further up the bed so Dennis’s head was on the pillows and Mac pressed their lips together. Dennis sighed and wrapped his legs around Mac’s hips, pulling his even closer. Their skin was still wet and warm from the hot tub as they moved together. They were moving slow, much slower than Dennis had anticipated, but he wasn’t disappointed. In fact, he was happy to take his time, exploring every inch of Mac’s body. 

He savored the way Mac’s breath hitched as Dennis started kissing his way down his neck, his chest, his stomach, until he was finally teasing the inside of his thighs. Mac spread his legs and ran his fingers through Dennis’ hair. He wasn’t pushing his head, but he was attempting to guide it to his dick, which was hard, and leaking against his stomach. Dennis ran his hand down Mac’s torso and took his cock into his hand. 

“Holy shit, man,” Mac said, throwing his head back, but he quickly lifted it again to watch what Dennis was doing. 

Dennis looked up at him and with a smirk, licked up his shaft from the bottom to the tip. Mac’s fingers tightened in his hair and Dennis took the tip of Mac’s dick into his mouth. Mac was trying to hold back, but he couldn’t help but slightly rock his hips into Dennis’ mouth. Dennis took the rest of Mac into his mouth, gagging slightly when it hit the back of his throat. He worked in a steady rhythm until Mac made him stop. 

“Dude, I am going to bust if you keep doing that,” Mac panted. Dennis reached up and wiped his mouth and moved up so he could kiss Mac again. Mac groaned when Dennis slipped his tongue into his mouth. Mac was laying flat on the bed and Dennis was straddling him, rocking their hips together. He stroked his hand down Dennis’ back. He cupped both of his hands on Dennis’ ass, slipping his index finger to circle around his hole. Dennis spread his legs more, bringing them closer together. 

“Do you want to fuck me?” Dennis asked, breathless. Mac nodded with a whimper and flipped them over so Dennis was on his back. He got off the bed to root through his suitcase for a second then came back with a small bottle of lube and a condom. 

“I always come prepared,” Mac said and Dennis rolled his eyes. 

“Who were you hoping to have sex with at a couples resort?” Dennis asked. 

“You, I guess,” Mac said with a shrug and Dennis snorted, but he could feel his face heat up at the admission. Mac went back in for a kiss and Dennis took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Mac’s neck, holding him close. 

He gasped when he felt Mac’s finger circle his hole again, this time slick with lube. Dennis held his breath as Mac slowly pushed his finger in and waited a second before Dennis released his breath and nodded. When Dennis became used to the one finger he added a second, and then a third. Mac hovered over him, peppering kisses anywhere his mouth landed. Dennis was moaning with his head thrown back and his legs splayed open. He was grinding his hips down trying to get Mac to move his fingers harder or faster. 

“Okay, okay,” Dennis panted. He reached out and placed his hand on Mac’s forearm,, “I’m ready, lets go.” Mac smiled and got up to his knees reaching for the condom he set on the bedside table. He was about to open it but he paused. 

“Can’t we just raw dog it?” Mac asked, looking disdainfully at the condom. Dennis looked up at him, scandalized. 

“No, we can’t just _raw dog it_ what is wrong with you?” Dennis nearly shrieked. His skin was warm and sweaty but he snapped out of his euphoric daze real quick. 

“But I’m clean!” 

“I’m having a hard time believing that. Put the goddamn condom on.” Mac grumbled but rolled the condom on and slicked up his dick with a little more lube. Once they were in position, the mood shifted. 

They had a playful banter going on between them in the hot tub, it almost didn’t feel like they were doing anything out of the ordinary. But as soon as they were about to really do it, Dennis’ brain froze. He didn’t know what to say and from the lack of commentary coming out of Mac’s mouth, he was in the same boat. Dennis wrapped his legs around Mac’s waist, whining when Mac rubbed the head of his dick against Dennis’ hole. 

“You okay?” Mac asked. Dennis nodded and pressed his face into the crook of Mac’s neck. Mac pushed forward and slowly kept going until Dennis had taken all of him. They were both breathing heavily, neither of them moving, just holding each other. 

“You can move,” Dennis said and with that, Mac began rolling his hips, thrusting shallowly. They built up to a steady rhythm and Dennis couldn’t hold back his moans. 

“You feel so good, bro,” Mac moaned into Dennis’ ear. Dennis’ eyes snapped open and he glared at Mac. 

“Do _not_ call me bro while you’re inside me,” he said. Mac’s hips stilled and he was trying to hold back a smile. They stared at each other for a second until they both dissolved into a fit of laughter. Mac began thrusting again as they laughed. He buried his face into Dennis’ neck and Dennis stroked one of his hands up and down Mac’s back. The other was tangled in the hair at the back of Mac’s head. 

Mac snaked his hand down and wrapped it around Dennis’ leaking cock making Dennis swear and dig his fingernails into Mac’s skin. Dennis could tell Mac was close when his thrusts started to become faster, losing the rhythm they had built up. 

“Holy shit, Dennis,” he panted. He gave one final thrust coming into the condom inside Dennis. They were still for a moment, neither of them willing to move, but Dennis couldn’t ignore his erection any longer. 

“Okay, okay,” Dennis said, mostly to himself, and guided Mac’s hand to his dick, moaning into Mac’s open mouth as he began to jerk him off. It didn’t take long before Dennis was coming into Mac’s hand with his name on his lips. 

They were boneless once again, Mac laying on top of Dennis, hiding his face in his neck. 

“That was awesome,” Mac said, sitting up. He reached his hand up and Dennis looked at it for a second before realizing Mac was waiting for a high five. 

“Hell yeah,” Dennis said and gave Mac the high five. He watched Mac as he walked over to the bathroom. He was half asleep when Mac crawled back into bed with him. 

“I love you, dude,” Mac whispered. Dennis hummed in content, kissing the top of Mac’s head before slipping into sleep. 

Dennis woke up with Mac wrapped around him. He had one of his legs thrown over Dennis’ waist and his arm was pinning him down around his chest. His face was pressed into the crook of Dennis’ neck, giving him goosebumps with every breath that Mac took. He was smiling slightly in his sleep and Dennis rubbed his hand up and down Mac’s back. He reached over for his phone, doing his best not to jostle Mac awake and dialed Dee’s number. 

“Is this going to become an every morning occurrence, because you should give me a heads up so I can go to sleep earlier,” Dee mumbled. 

“Mac and I banged,” Dennis whispered. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He moved his hand up so it was resting on the back of Mac’s head. 

“Gross, but congrats,” Dee said. She waited a second before saying, “...is that all?” 

“Yup,” Dennis said. He heard Dee swear and mumble, “you couldn’t have texted me,” as she took the phone away from her face to hang up. Dennis’ smile widened and he put his phone back on the nightstand. He turned around, rearranging them so he was facing Mac, his head resting on the same pillow as him. 

Dennis reached up and lightly traced the lines of Mac’s face. He stilled as Mac’s eyes slowly fluttered open and smiled when he saw Dennis. He reached up and held Dennis’ hand against his cheek, nuzzling slightly into his palm. 

“Hi,” Mac said, looking at Dennis with those puppy dog eyes. 

“Hi,” Dennis responded. His thumb moved over Mac’s bottom lip and he leaned in to give him a soft kiss. 

“I can’t believe last night actually happened,” Mac said. He looked as if he would wake up from a dream at any minute so he was soaking this moment in. 

“Better believe it, baby boy,” Dennis said. He stretched his arms up, arching his back slightly. Mac wrapped his arms around Dennis’ torso tighter and nuzzled further into his neck. 

They slowly made their way down to breakfast, arm in arm, whispering and giggling into each others ears as they stumbled down the hallway. Dennis felt warm and content with Mac’s arm around him, something he wasn’t sure he would ever feel. There was no way to dispute they weren’t a couple at this point. 

This happened to be their last day at the resort and Dennis was almost upset. He would never admit it out loud (mostly because he didn’t want to give Mac the satisfaction), but he actually had quite a fun time at this cheesy retreat. They were supposed to be out of their room by the afternoon, so they didn’t have much time to dilly dally around the resort that morning. They sat down at a table, sharing a plate of fruit, bacon, and pastries. Dennis smiled as Mac fed him a strawberry and then kissed him to taste the strawberry on his lips. 

“Well don’t you two look cozy,” Brenda said, sitting down at the table with them. Dennis almost groaned out loud. Dennis was about to say something sickly sweet, but Mac beat him to it. 

“I’m sorry Brenda, but do you need something?” Mac asked. Dennis looked at Mac with wide eyes and a laugh in the back of his throat. 

“I’m sorry?” Brenda asked. 

“I’m trying to enjoy an intimate moment with my fiance, so if you could leave us alone that would be awesome,” Mac said, turning back to Dennis not sparing Brenda another glance. Dennis smiled at Brenda from over Mac’s shoulder. She sat there in disbelief for a second before pulling Gary in the direction of Mary and Dave across the room. 

“Holy shit, Mac,” Dennis said. He reached up and ran his hands through Mac’s tousled hair, “that was so sexy.”  
“Yeah?” Mac asked and Dennis nodded, pulling Mac in for a kiss. 

“So, when you proposed the other night,” Mac said. They were finally on their way home. Mac was driving and he had his hand resting on Dennis’ thigh. 

“Yeah, we totally ruined that couple's night,” Dennis said with a chuckle. 

“Yeah,” Mac said. Dennis looked over at him. 

“What?” He asked. He thought maybe Mac was going to say he felt bad or something else funny about that incident. 

“So...do you wanna do it?” Mac asked and Dennis laughed before he realized Mac was serious. 

“What, get married? Mac don’t be ridiculous,” Dennis said but he felt giddy. 

“No, I’m serious. We could book a redeye to Vegas right now,” Mac said. A hysterical laugh burst out of Dennis but he immediately took out his phone to look up possible flights. 

“There's a flight leaving from Philly in five hours. It’s a roundtrip, non-stop flight and it’s surprisingly cheap so there's an 80% chance the plane will crash.” Dennis looked over at Mac and hid his smile behind his phone. Mac gave him a grin in return. Dennis took out his credit card and booked the flight. 

“Good thing I made us pack all those extra clothes, huh?” Mac said. 

By the time they got to the airport it was 2 pm. Their flight wasn’t until five, so they had plenty of time to get through security, find something to eat, and sit at their terminal. 

“This is the craziest thing we’ve ever done,” Mac said with a mouthful of food. Dennis was on his phone trying to figure out how to acquire a marriage license in Las Vegas. Turns out it’s a lot easier than he expected. Fill out the application online, pick it up at the Clark County Marriage License Bureau, then it’s off to the closest chapel to elope. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. 

“I don't know. I think marrying Maureen was a little crazier. Or me running off to be a dad in North Dakota,” Dennis said, typing in all their information on the marriage license form. There’s no way it’s that easy, “at least this makes sense.” 

“You think this makes sense?” Mac asked looking up at Dennis with those god damn puppy dog eyes. Dennis nodded with a smile and leaned over to place a short but sweet kiss on Mac’s lips. He cringed at the taste of the burger on them but he couldn’t bring himself to actually care. 

Finally, they were sitting on their flight, their baggage was checked. They didn’t tell the rest of the gang they were on the way to vegas and they definitely didn't tell them _why._ The flight was shitty, but what else would you expect from a cheap, last minute cross country flight. 

In Vegas, they took the first cab they saw to the Clark County Marriage Bureau to pick up their license. It was a quick and painless process that didn’t give them any time to pause and think about whether or not this was a good idea, but then again, that’s probably the point. From the bureau they hopped in another cab which took them to The Little Vegas Chapel where Mac and Dennis planned on getting married. 

“This is fucking insane,” Mac said. He had changed into his polo shirt and tie ensemble while they were in the back of the cab. The cab driver didn’t bat an eye. At that moment, Dennis thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world (but that was most likely the rum and coke influencing that thought). 

“Yeah,” Dennis agreed, but he couldn’t stop smiling. They walked through the front doors of the chapel and straight to the lady at the front desk, suitcases in hand, looking like they just took a five hour, cross country flight. 

“We’d like one wedding, please,” Mac said, holding up his index finger. The woman at the desk looked up from the magazine she was reading. She tapped out something on the computer in front of her. 

“Okay, you’re lucky, we have an opening in 30 minutes,” she said and pointed them over to the waiting area where they could sit until it was time for the ceremony. 

“Are we gonna write our own vows?” Mac asked. 

“Should we?” Dennis asked and Mac nodded, excited. 

“Holy shit, yeah,” Mac said already taking out his phone to type in his notes app. Dennis took out his phone also. What the hell was he going to say? _Mac, my closest confidant,_ Dennis typed but quickly deleted it. That was stupid and not fitting for a wedding, _especially_ their wedding. _Mac, the love and light of my life,_ Dennis typed that and then deleted it as well. That was way too cheesy. He glanced over at Mac to see him frantically tapping on his phone. He began to stress out. Mac always knew what to say in these situations. 

“How are you doing?” Dennis asked. 

“Oh, I am crushing it, dude,” Mac said. 

“Oh totally...me too,” Dennis said, looking at his blank phone notes. Dennis had no idea what he was going to say and by the time it was their turn, he was sufficiently freaking out. When they were approached by the man who was going to wed them, he blanked. He had no idea what the man was saying to them, but he watched Mac’s face and tried to match his enthusiasm. 

“Can you just give us one second?” Mac asked the man. The man smiled and nodded, telling them to meet him in the room when they were ready. Mac turned to Dennis. They were alone in the hallway separating them from the hallway and the room where they were supposed to get married. 

“Mac, I lied before. I have no idea what I’m going to say. Nothing seems good enough and I just want it to be good enough for you and I want to-” Dennis began rambling so Mac shut him up with a kiss. 

“Whatever you say is going to be awesome and it’s going to mean so much to me, like you have such a way with words,” Mac said. Dennis could feel the death grip on his heart loosening. 

“Okay, okay you’re right, let’s do this,” Dennis said. He grabbed the sides of Mac’s face and gave him another passionate kiss before marching Mac into that wedding room. 

The ceremony was beautiful, or as beautiful as a last minute, 10 minute long vegas wedding can be. The wedding aficionado said his opening remarks and told them it was time for the exchanging of vows. Mac cleared his throat and took out his phone. 

“Dennis, you’re my best friend. All I want is to keep you happy and safe and the best way I can guarantee that is with me. I promise to always keep you smiling and to protect you no matter what may happen,” Mac said. He kept looking up at Dennis from his phone to gauge his reaction. Dennis, not one to like to show his emotions, couldn’t keep the tears out of his eyes. He sniffled pathetically and let out a little laugh. He swiped away a stray tear and cleared his throat. 

“Okay, my turn?” Dennis asked and the wedding officiant nodded. Dennis cleared his throat again. He took Mac’s hands into his own and began to speak, “I never believed in marriage. Growing up, my parents had the worst marriage imaginable and then I married Maureen Ponderosa because that's what I thought I was supposed to do and that ended in disaster. After that, I just never saw the point. Like why would I want to tie myself down to someone especially when I’m at my peak? But once you suggested getting married on the way over here, I finally got it. Like, in that little moment I finally understood why people _want_ to get married. I can't imagine living my life without you at this point and I can't imagine anyone else having you.” _Fucking nailed it,_ Dennis thought. 

By the end of Dennis’ speech, the tears were freely flowing down Mac’s face. Dennis reached up and swiped them away with his thumb. Mac grabbed Dennis’ hand and brought it to his mouth, softly pressing Dennis’ thumb to his lips. Dennis couldn’t help but beam at the bright look in Mac’s eyes. 

The rest of the ceremony went by and within 10 minutes they were legally binded. 

They walked out of the chapel hand in hand. 

“Wanna let the gang know?” Mac asked and Dennis nodded. He took his phone out and took a selfie of them holding the marriage certificate, Mac kissing Dennis’ cheek. They sent the photo with no context and within minutes they were bombarded with text messages. 

DEE: you guys are so stupid

CHARLIE: ??? wut duz that say?

DEE: hope you have enough money saved up for your inevitable divorce 

FRANK: did you buy that with my credit card?

CHARLIE: r u guys in philly?

“Are they serious? We tell them we’re married and this is how they react? You’d think they’d be just a little happy for us?” Dennis said staring at his phone. 

“I mean who cares what they think, dude? We’re obviously way above them and we’re like so much more sophisticated than them because we’re married. Are any of those douchebags married? No,” Mac said. Dennis rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but smile just hearing Mac say the words “we’re married.” It was so surreal. They’re _married._

“Let’s go get blasted and play some black jack,” Dennis said linking arms with Mac. 

“Being married is awesome. I feel so powerful. Don’t you feel powerful?” Mac asked. Dennis scoffed but he kind of knew what Mac meant. 

“You’re an idiot,” Dennis said pressing a quick kiss to the back of Mac’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone that helped me out with this and thank you to impmakesart on tumblr for making the amazing artwork to go with it please go check it out https://impmakesart.tumblr.com/post/611815522511814656/mac-and-dennis-honeymoon 
> 
> This was so fun to write and I am so glad with how everything turned out. Please leave kudos if you enjoyed it and follow me on tumblr at macsinthehouse!!


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